Absence of Mind

I’ve become so alone since I started dealing with the many thoughts that plague me. You see, I’ve been so tired and lethargic that I haven’t been able to get out of bed at all, and I can’t even remember the last time I wanted to stay awake long enough to enjoy this existence called life. I was told that it would get better and that what I was feeling was nothing more than a temporary “correction” in my behavior, but alas, it still remains in place, even after all these years. I am nothing more than a shell of my former myself, a crude representation of the dangers of apathy and indolence.

Just smile, and get over it.

How can I smile when all of my clouds have turned grey, and the people I once trusted to take care of me at my worst refuse to stay? Work is dull, my soul is tired of remaining in this mortal body, and my entire existence is nothing more than shoddy. What exactly am I supposed to be happy about, when sadness is the only friend I can talk to, the only one that truly understands me? Not my coworkers, not even my family will care if I’m gone, so goodbye and so long.

I’ll be smiling, once I’m finally over it.

Photo by Robby McCullough on Unsplash


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